Crisis in Parys – Report from Parys Government

A terse communique out of the Elysée palace in Parys reported that King Christophe, Queen Jorrah, their children and the rest of the royal household, the senior members of government, the less senior members of government, the junior members of government, the members of the opposition, members of the police, fire, municipal waste management, utility, street cleaning and lamplighters unions, teachers, artists collectives, boulangers, patissiers, epiciers, cremiers, fromagiers, viandiers, charcrutiers, all other related and unrelated crafts and trades, regular families, irregular families, unmarried youths, unmarried non-youths, and all other citizenry to include both legal and temporarily undocumented immigrants, with certain named exceptions whose deaths could be attributed to accident, old age, disease, mischief or other statistically meaningless event, are in good health, except those members of the above mentioned cohorts whose health was already not good, in which case (with certain named exceptions attributable to medicine, miracle, exercise or reporting irregularly) their health remains bad.

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