Archive for November, 2017

Ultima Terra seems to be struck with a plague of frogs shortly after the one in Ancient Earth ceased.
The sources seem to emanate from a pond near Malus palace and from the city of Duluth.

At the same time there has been a similar plague of frogs also impacting the capital of the Duchy of Karmways.
Seems that French cuisine in both places have a lower price of frog legs.

Reports are that Princess Deirdre broke down and started to weep over the cruel fate befalling all those poor innocent cute froggies. She reportedly was consoled by sons Joseph, Gregor, and Lazare, possibly stepson Avon.

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Reports coming in to foreign journalists based in the Parys capital suggest that while Parys and its Silver Circle Empire has been relatively unscathed, there have been multiple catastrophes that had occurred in the ‘other side of Parys’.

The so-called Other Side of Parys was speculated about by Parys theologians and academics for years however the Parys government did not find them that geographically close nor that economically valuable to develop relations with.  “That is wonderful news for the Royal Government and the Parys Economy,” said Deputy Finance Minister Astard des les Cochons. “I am delighted to say this mishap will not do much damage to Parys proper, its vital communications and transportation lines.”

Asked about reports of whole worlds being cast into the Abyss, “Well,” the bureaucrat gives a Gallic shrug, “We do not know everything. If it is there it will be  mourned for them not having the chance to be art of our empire. If they were not, they meant nothing anyways.”

He also mocked the conspiracy theories and social activists, “Of course there rumours of looters being punished or mountain pirates attacking mail trains. We do not know a complete picture at this time and for me to speculate is irresponsible.”

“There are rumours of lost colonies belonging to alleged reincarnations of Lucius or were pledged to allegiance to Lucius,” the minister said carefully, “It would be so incredibly rude, uncouth, and low class to even think of recruiting, subverting or building colonies on the other side of Parys. Such a move had it been done, may have provided offence to our own Beloved Majeste, though of course, such a terrible thing is not proven to have happened as that terrible disaster was so complete.”

Pressed for additional information, the minister did share the following,” Territories such as St. Sigo, St. Saturnius, St. Wivina, St. Nicasius, St. Benildus, and St. Prosper which are not part of Parys, did suffer a catastrophic event though quite possibly natural and non anthropomorphic.” he explained, “Unfortunately these settlements who had been established by rogue heretics who worship the Holy Apostle Glen’s red jackets over the Sacred Quadity. I am not a theologian but this seems rather odd.”

“These regions plus a border area called the Vexin, which was considered uninhabited wilderness, are no longer connected to any lands affiliated with Parys or the Parys pattern. In one terrible night, these lands and their benighted heretical subjects found themselves hurled into the black oceans of the Abyss, never to be seen again from the shores of Parys.” the minister acknowledged adding, “Our thoughts and prayers follow these innocent fools and their that of their families.”

“On the other hand, Parys remains, Parys and will be open for business.” he brightens up, ignoring some gunfire, “We are going to always be open to business and will continue to show unconditional love, loyalty and support to our most gracious merciful Majeste.”

“Vive Chistophe de Parys, Vive notre ROI! Christophe les plus Quaditian Roi!”

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A terse communique out of the Elysée palace in Parys reported that King Christophe, Queen Jorrah, their children and the rest of the royal household, the senior members of government, the less senior members of government, the junior members of government, the members of the opposition, members of the police, fire, municipal waste management, utility, street cleaning and lamplighters unions, teachers, artists collectives, boulangers, patissiers, epiciers, cremiers, fromagiers, viandiers, charcrutiers, all other related and unrelated crafts and trades, regular families, irregular families, unmarried youths, unmarried non-youths, and all other citizenry to include both legal and temporarily undocumented immigrants, with certain named exceptions whose deaths could be attributed to accident, old age, disease, mischief or other statistically meaningless event, are in good health, except those members of the above mentioned cohorts whose health was already not good, in which case (with certain named exceptions attributable to medicine, miracle, exercise or reporting irregularly) their health remains bad.
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Providing a unity of service in Antilla Station, the Antillan Railway Empire and the Island of Antilla in E1,King Matthew came on the air by radio and television. “We are delighted to build this remarkable intershadow communication system.

In more news, “Matthew says, “There was a terrible disaster in Parys where much of their hinterland has been swept into the ocean of the Abyss by an unknown phenomena or by deliberate sabotage against the Parys Government.Our thoughts and prayers are with the Royal Family of Parys and all the subjects that owe them true allegiance. My sister Jorrah and her husband, my cousin Christophe are well and have not been injured in this tumultuous and unprecedented calamity.”

“At the same time, my brother Lucius, in a similar incident has found a large calamity where his new colonies have been swept into the Abyss. Many of his family, my family were present but were able to stabilize their new offshore abyss beach front property.  Our thoughts and prayers are with my brother and other kinsmen of mine in these new brownwater dominions.”

“This crisis requires action on our part to protect our friends and relatives in these areas stricken by calamities. I have acted to keep my railways to both kingdoms open despite enormous challenges.

“I have suspended habeas corpus in Antilla Station and all railway territory  that is not a settled province indefinitely. Properly settled provinces will have their laws, freedoms and liberties that is their creator given right. However Antilla Station is a different problem and we must be vigilant against Communism and its behaved little brother, Socialism. We have banned Amnesty InterCreation in Antilla Station and forbidden any of their members from using our Railway. They are not banned in the Railway Empire but police have been unable to protect them from the huge majority of the loyal population who do not want them around.

“We have been also helping our allies in UT and Parys distant domains protect themselves against communists, rebel scum and social justice warriors who illegally seize public and private property. In those cases martial law had been raised and the loyal populations were armed to protect themselves, their system of life and their property.”

King Matthew then issued a blanket pardon in perpetuity for those who kill communists or slow track communists – He also made it a crime for any legislator in any of his lands to try to issue an apology for these actions.

Amnesty InterCreation called this “The Tripartite White Terror brought to you by Christophe, Lucius and Matthew. Do not believe their phony wars and imaginary sinking lands in the Abyss. They are ruthless dictators.”

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Parys Crisis?

By Kelric | Filed in Uncategorized

Skeptics, Sinners and Stinkers President Alfonze Colombe issued a press release stating that any crisis in Parys, nearParys territories or in the Silver Circle are purely political or geostrategic and do not constitute any geographic crisis. He said to a rented community centre in St. Amant shadow that this is perpetuated by the Parys King and his cousin the Antillan King to pursue a crackdown against leftwing social justice warriors.

“We already know that Antillan reserves have armed pro Christophe militias in areas outside of the Silver Circle to slaughter Red Parys factions without provocation and warning.” he cynically notes. “We know that Parys will soon declare a crisis or a state of emergency after some contrived weather changes and small tremors to claim that territories no body knew existed that paid Christophe no taxes, that did not have deputies in the Parys Chamber of Deputes – has sunk into the Abyss. We do know that the Parys secret police with a ferocity not seen since the Bree Rebellion has hammered on their political enemies .

Colombe said further, “The Antillan Railway Empire’s armed blond haired blue eyed thugs have already been shooting Parys railway workers who seized Antillan Railway track in the name of the Parys Worker’s Council. We know that King Matthew has moved an additional 100,000 soldiers into Antillan City together with an additional 400 Urban Tanks to make a huge show of force when rumours surfaced over a possibly general strike in support of Parys workers.

“We know that Christophe and Matthew’s brother, the fascist blond beastie Lucius von Palatine have worked out a scam where they will denounce each other for crimes against one another to justify Parys’ crackdown on the leftwing. We also know that Lucius controls and had developed the UT Orwellian state including the universal control system of mantling. We also know that Lucius like Matthew is brother to Jorrah, Christophe’s wife who unleashed tonks on her husband’s people during the Bree Rebellion for Freedom.”

“Let’s join the dots, Lucius and Matthew and Jorrah are Brand’s children. Brand of Brandenberg who occupied Parys under a brutal occupation for centuries. Christophe and his scheming trollop mother Dara are planning to implement a mantling system which together with Confession Rites in the majority Quadity religion will make Parys as much a police state as UT.

Meanwhile Jenny HoofyFoot of Amnesty InterCreation has indicated that there are mass arrests in Parys with many of her Social Justice Workers have been arrested for demanding Equity over Equality.

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The sun set, quickly, and unexpectedly. In a matter of minutes, the main base observed the sky turning dark ochre, the rapid-onset sunset lighting the clouds first one beautiful share of orange then another as the heavens darkened, a rolling chorus of crickets rising with the falling of night.
Reports began to come in of tidal shifts and coastal incursions of slow-moving walls of water, ships at sea reporting their compasses turning suddenly in their cradles.
But soon the situation stabilized, and the bases reported in one after the other. There was no evidence of attack or changes in the environment that would presage the arrival of some force.
Then amid the flurry of communications one of the bases submitted a report, missed at first, but then passed up through the chain of command.
The luminosity of the moon was changing.
Staff meteorologists were called on to model this and quickly reported back that it was, in fact, changing, and developed a graphic that showed the varying degrees to which the luminosity was changing, more at the outer edges of a named circular geographic area, less as the distance to the center decreased.  They had no real explanation for this.
Or for evidence that the location of the moon in the sky wasn’t changing either.
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