Reports from the Mayor’s office indicate that shortly after Prince Ian arrived at his desk on Monday morning, he looked at the pile of constable’s reports from the weekend, and ordered an entire samovar full of coffee with brandy.
Rumors are also that with the samovar arrived a large bottle of brandy and a box of chocolate covered bacon from the Deputy PM’s office.
A pile of chocolate covered bacon and two samovars of coffee with brandy later, the Mayor is heard to mutter:
Corpses – foreign agents: 3
Foreign agents apprehended: 2
Old biddies looking for Lucius: 1
Annoying out of jurisdiction fake constables: 1
Jesby goons encountered: 8
Problematic Jesby women: 2
Corpses – civilian: 1
Passer by stabbed with hat pin (arrangements being made for their family).
Civilians sucked into Abyss holes: 1
Women forced to strip and dance: 1
Injuries, Royal: 1
Injuries civilian: 3
Grand Concourse waitress – collected by ambulance
Grand Concourse waiter – slipped on a banana skin
Social worker – gratuitously injured by Patrick
Amber civilians turned into pigs: 40 (now restored)
Bear cultists with particularly loud squees and bobby socks: More than required for a single evening
Bear dancers reminded of the local ordinance about disturbing the every day business of Amber City: Way too many
Milk vans fireballed: 1
Funeral parlours burned: 1
The Mayor got to his feet and walked out of his office, calling to his Permanent Secretary. “If you need me, I’m at the Boar’s Head”